It is natural to long to be in a loving relationship with another person. And not just any loving relationship. We want a relationship that we can totally surrender into – a love that is so solid that we can rest our minds and hearts completely in it. We want a deep, pure, lasting love. Love that is absolutely fulfilling and true in the deepest levels of our being.
This is why we like fairy tales and romantic stories where couples fall completely in love with each other, are completely satisfied in this love, and live happily ever after. We are attracted to this idea because it is a reflection of a reality that we know in our hearts actually exists. And so we try to recreate this love in our own lives.
We search constantly for our perfect mate. Every time we meet a potential dream guy or gal – when we feel that little spark of sweetness light up within us – we think there he is or there she is. This is my true love, maybe. Maybe this is the person I have been searching for all my life. If the other person also feels a spark, then we might pursue the feeling together – trying to determine if the spark means this is the One. Or not.
And maybe we finally find someone who seems to light us up in all the right ways and we marry. But after one year, five years, ten years, are we still feeling in love? Are we experiencing that deep-to-the-core, boundless, blissful love that we long for in our heart of hearts? Are we so completely satisfied and secure in our love that we can rest our minds and hearts completely in it?
If not, then why not?